**Thirteen Ways to Spot a Math Nerd**

**1.**They are aroused at the sight and sound of numbers.

**2. They wait for the bus and say, "I bet three buses will come all at one go."**

**3.**They have irregular-sized pizza delivered to the mathematics or computer science department.

**4. Their idea of rebellion is to go to the whiteboard and compute everything in binary, or do calculations in Roman numerals.**

**5.**They sleepwalk uttering obscenities at Greek symbols, or murmuring in Latin.

**6. They send e-mails to each other even though their desks are less than two meters away.**

**7.**They refer to their friends, fiends or foes by their e-mail coordinates.

**8. They explain to their five-year-old neighbors the difference between**

*number*and*numeral*,*minus*and*negative*, or*zero*and*nothing*.**9.**They see a woman's boobs and think of a smooth polynomial curve, with its pair of minimum points.

**1**

**0. They insist that "1 + 1 = 2" is not true until they use the axioms (undefined terms) to prove it.**

**11.**They say, "I'll see you there at 7PM plus or minus 10 minutes."

**12. They use insults like "You’re two standard deviations from the norm, you symbol-minded dummy!**"

**13.**They prefer doing math to dating, dining or having sex.

© Yan Kow Cheong, March 17, 2010