The Ig Nobel Prizes in Mathematics

We don't have a Nobel Prize in Mathematics, and a number of hypotheses have been put forward to rationalize why Mr. Alfred Nobel didn't see fit to award such a coveted prize to the mathematical fraternity.

The closest (or an equivalent) to a Nobel Prize in Mathematics is the Fields Medal, officially known as the International Medal for Outstanding Discoveries in Mathematics, which is granted every four years to between two and four mathematicians for outstanding or groundbreaking research. 

Traditionally given to mathematicians under the age of 40, Fields medalists receive an honorable Can$15,000, an amount probably sufficient enough to defray the cost of their airfare and accommodation should they decide not to channel their winnings to some charitable organization.

Ig(noble) Nobel Prize in Mathematics 

For the majority of mathematicians who can't be nominated for a Fields medal, because they're not born with the "mathematical gene," there's still an infinitesimal hope that some may be awarded an Ig Nobel in Mathematics.

The Ig Nobel Prizes are an American parody of the Nobel Prizes and are given each year in early October for ten unusual achievements in scientific research. The prizes are to "honor achievements that first make people laugh, and then make them think." 

These highly-coveted prizes are awarded in many categories, including the Nobel Prize categories of physics, chemistry, physiology/medicine, literature, and peace, but also other categories such as public health, engineering, biology, and interdisciplinary research.

Organized by the scientific humor magazine Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), these awards are presented by a group that includes Nobel Laureates at a ceremony at Harvard University's Sanders Theater, and they are followed by a set of public lectures by the winners at MIT.

Ig Nobel Laureates

Let's look at some past Ig Nobel winners in Mathematics, Probability, or Statistics.  

The Ups and Downs of Cows

2013 Probability Prize

Bert Tolkamp, Marie Haskell, Fritha Langford, David Roberts, and Colin Morgan, from the UK, for making two related discoveries:

1. The longer a cow has been lying down, the more likely that cow will soon stand up.

2. Once a cow stands up, you can't easily predict how soon that cow will lie down again.

The End of the World

2011 Mathematics Prize 

Dorothy Martin of the USA (who predicted the world would end in 1954), Pat Robertson of the USA (who predicted the world would end in 1982), Elizabeth Clare Prophet of the USA (who predicted the world would end in 1990), Lee Jang Rim of Korea (who predicted the world would end in 1992), Credonia Mwerinde of Uganda (who predicted the world would end in 1999), and Harold Camping of the USA (who predicted the world would end on September 6, 1994 and later predicted that the world will end on October 21, 2011), for teaching the world to be careful when making mathematical assumptions and calculations.

The Hundred Trillion Dollar Book 

2009 Mathematics Prize

Gideon Gono, the governor of Zimbabwe's Reserve Bank until 2013, for giving people a simple, everyday way to cope with a wide range of numbers—from the very small to the very big—by having his bank print bank notes with denominations ranging from one cent ($.01) to one hundred trillion dollars ($100,000,000,000,000).

The Number of Shots

2006 Mathematics Prize 

Nic Svenson and Piers Barnes of the Australian Commonwealth Scientific and Research Organization, for calculating the number of photographs you must take to (almost) ensure that nobody in a group photo will have their eyes closed.

Elephantine Surface Area

2002 Mathematics Prize

K.P. Streekumar and the late G. Nirmalan of Kerala Agricultural University, India, for their analytical report, "Estimation of the Total Surface Area in Indian Elephants."  

No winners from 1999 to 2001.

Private Dimensions

1998 Statistics Prize

Jerald Bain of Mt. Sinai Hospital in Toronto, and Kerry Siminoski of the University of Alberta, for their carefully measured report, "The Relationship Among Height, Penile Length, and Foot Size."

No winners from 1995 to 1997.

Who Are Going to Hell?

1994 Mathematics Prize

The Southern Baptist Church of Alabama, mathematical measurers of morality, for their county-by-county estimate of how many Alabama citizens will go to Hell if they don't repent.

Mikhail Gorbachev, the Antichrist

1993 Mathematics Prize

Robert Faid of Greenville, South Carolina, far-sighted and faithful seer of statistics, for calculating the exact odds (710,609,175,188,282,000 to 1) that Mikhail Gorbachev is the Antichrist.

Note: In 1990 Mikhail Gorbachev was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

No winners in 1991 and 1992.

If you think that academic papers are darn boring, The Best of Annals of Improbable Research would dismiss that!

Research Topics for an Ig Nobel Prize Award

Let me end with some improbable or irreproducible research topics you may consider brainstorming with your team members. Who knows? You may end up getting nominated for an Ig Nobel Prize in Mathematics, Probability, or Statistics; and with some luck, even be a future Ig Nobel Laureate.

Why Singapore Math Is Russian in Origin

The Golden Ratio and Orgasm

How to Pray to a Black Hole

Deifying Primes and Matrices

Schizophrenia and Sudoku

Gambling May Prolong Your Life

The Secret Life of Pi

Vampire Literature: A Catalyst to Topological Insights

The Sound of e

Origami Pride

Pirate Math 

A Calculus of Corruption

101 Uses of the Golden Mean

The Freudian Meaning of Sexy Primes

A Fourier Analysis of the Singapore Math Syndrome

^O? ^0? ^o?

Another first for Singapore!

A little-known factoid is that former Prime Minister of Singapore, Mr. Lee Kuan Yew, won the 1994 Ig Nobel Prize in Psychology, for his thirty-year study of the effects of punishing three million citizens of Singapore whenever they spat, chewed gum, or fed pigeons.

Call for Submissions 
Know of any improbable research, email it to marca@improbable.com

E-mail your Ig Nobel Nominations to air@improbable.com

Visit the Annals of Improbable Research Web site.

References

Abrahams, M. (2012). This is improbable: Chesse string theory, magnetic chickens, and other WTF research. Oxford: Oneworld Publications.

Abrahams, M. (2002). The Ig Nobel Prizes: The Annals of Improbable Research. New York: Dutton.

Abrahams, M. (ed.) (1998). The Best of Annals of Improbable Research. New York: W. H. Freeman and Company.

Scherr, G. H. & Glenn, J. (eds.) (1997). The Journal of Irreproducible Results II. New York: Barnes & Noble Books.

You'll have a heck of a good time reading the papers gracing the pages of the Journal of Irreproducible Results!

© Yan Kow Cheong, October 15, 2013.

The Lighter Side of Singapore Math (Part 3)

Is the Singapore model method a plus or minus?

Skeptics or critics: "The model method is pre-algebra in disguise."
Proof: Use of a bar instead of a variable x.

Agnostics: "I've faith in Back to basics!"
Proof: I never use x, y, z nor any models in everyday life.

Believers: "The model method is visual algebra in elementary math."
Proof: Singapore's top rankings in TIMSS.

The Aftermath of TIMSS

One by-product of Singapore's top TIMSS ranking: Low fertility rate of 1.16 of its population—way below the replacement level of 2.1 At the current rate, Singapore might cease to exist!

Outsource your math to Singapore, not to Bengalore.
Bengalore the tedious and monotonous, Singapore the creative and innovative.

The red dot in South East Asia [Singapore] had leaked into the sea of math education, forcing [American] states to reassess both curriculums and pedagogies. 

Half-baked Papers from School of Education researchers: 

"How to wean the elementary student from models to algebra"

"Beyond the Singapore Model Method"

"Should SINGAPORE MATH be ©opyrighted?" 

"Could Korea Math be the next mathematical fad?" 

Six Top Oft-quoted Factors for Singapore's Success in TIMSS

1. Excellent textbooks

2. Good teachers

3. High pay for teachers

4. Society's high regard of teachers 

5. Good career path for math teachers

6. Teachers mostly math majors or minors

Six Key Factors of Singapore's Success in TIMSS

1. Nation-wide private tuitions (individual or group) to make up for poor teaching in schools.

2. Parental involvement—many parents taking leave to coach their kids closer to exam time.

3. Practice of drill-and-kill assessment [supplementary] questions assigned by kiasu parents, tutors, and teachers.

4. Self-help groups such as CDAC, MENDAKI, SINDA to help the weaker—and economically challenged—students.

5. Remedial math lessons disguised as "enrichment math" programs.

6. Community clubs (CC's) tuitions for average or below-average income earners.

In the Pipeline...

New citizens- and permanent-residents-to-be may soon have to know how to solve one or two word problems, using the model method, as they sit for the literacy-numeracy test for those who don't have a formal education. Indeed, a stressful time for new immigrants!

Line Method vs. Bar Method

The line method is to the bar method what the soroban is to the Chinese abacus. http://tinyurl.com/4rxdky3

A Dozen Tweets from @MathPlus

The Light Bulb: How many Singapore math educators does it take to change a light bulb? It depends on the type of model they draw.

A numerologist is a "make-believe" number theorist trying to fool the innumerates that numbers have powers to rule their lives.

How many US politicians does it take to adopt Singapore #math? Three: To prove Singapore's existence, location & its relation to election.

Singapore #math authors may be the least credited in the world, as their first names are often mistakenly referenced for their surnames.

Beyond Singapore math textbooks & workbooks, here are some enrichment & creative math titles to tickle the brain: http://tinyurl.com/3lfuzsf

Anything cat-size or smaller tastes like chicken. Creatures roughly dog-size taste like pork; anything larger tastes like beef.

Benjamin Vitale: "Russian Math is hard work, Singapore Math is smart work." Famous Russian mat'cians aplenty proves they're doing sth right!

Her double masters didn't help her math⎯she lost $100,300 in casino. http://bit.ly/hWnVms She's faith in the "Lore of Averages"!

Singapore math on its own cannot magically turn a bad teacher into a good one, but it can make a good one better.

A Postmodern Equation: Life - Love = Autumn + Spring + Winter

Since 1991, Lee Kuan Yew gave some $13 million to #charity⎯earnings from his memoirs, speaking engagements, and being on advisory boards.

With perfect equality at zero, Singapore's Gini score (a measure of income inequality) is World's No. 2 at 0.42, behind Hong Kong's 0.43.

Zero Tweets from @Zero_Math

Join the ZERO-MATH Fan Club, by following K. C. Yan as @Zero_Math and share your zero tweets with the Zero-Math brethren! Here's a sample of them:

A #Math Quickie: The temperature is forecast to be twice as cold as today. If today is zero degrees, what will tomorrow's temperature be?

Zero is inarguably a Hindu invention, but textbooks still attribute its origin to both Hindus and Muslims. Political or racial correctness?

How to Lie with Zero: 0% Bank Loan, 0% Interest, Zero Down-payment, ... #zero #interest #marketing

A Dangerously Zero Thought: "It's the thoughtlessness that counts!"#zero

© Yan Kow Cheong, May 1, 2011

LIFE and DEATH by Numbers

LIFE and DEATH by Numbers

One of Singapore’s founding fathers, Dr. Goh Keng Swee who was Mr. Lee Kuan Yew’s Economics tutor, and later his deputy prime minister, died at the age of 91 on May 14. And one of the best-known popularizers of recreational mathematics, and debunker of paranormal claims, Mr. Martin Gardner died at the age of 95 on May 22. Both men were blessed with a lifespan of more than four scores and ten, and hundreds of thousands of people benefited from those two selfless men’s contributions.

Some two decades ago, I bought a copy of Gardner’s book from an ex-colleague, and since then I had never looked back to enjoying the beauty and power of mathematics. Like thousands of Martin Gardner’s fans around the world, formal schooling often fails to expose us to the joy and beauty of mathematics, so when I first read Gardner’s Mathematical Carnival, it was numerical love at first sight.

Let's popularize and evangelize math

Many of us love math in school, because we simply like solving non-routine or challenging word problems, or we enjoy being challenged by logic games and puzzles, but few things come close to getting a glimpse of the beauty and utility of advanced math, as popularized by Martin Gardner for number addicts of all stripes.

Death is blind

Dr. Goh and Mr. Gardner were men of numbers who contributed much, and many of us reaped the fruits of their labors. As we ponder on their numerous outputs, it’s never too early for us to reflect on our own mortality, and what our 'mathematical legacy' would be when we too reach the end of life’s journey.

You’re just a heartbeat away!

You’d even die before you finish reading this post. I’d die while you’re reading it. Now! At this very moment! It’s easy to be preoccupied with our to-do (or not-to-do) lists, focusing on our teaching, writing, reviewing, or preparing for our next meeting. We go on our normal lives as if we've thousands of days or millions of hours left before our last breath. We don’t want to think that we’re all one heartbeat away, regardless of our position or station in life.

We operate on automatic mode: Today it’s just a normal day to do whatever we feel like doing. We forget that we’re a mist that appears for a while and then vanishes. We don’t want to admit that today we may die. Or, maybe we feel invincible that nothing mortal is going to affect us. We live as though our lives would go on forever. We’re like the foolish rich man who thinks like “Today or tomorrow I’ll travel or fly to that city or country, spend a few weeks there, carry on my business and make money,” not realizing that his life will be taken away the very night.

If we live up to three or four scores and ten, it’s hard to accept that by then no one will care what positions we held, how many titles we collected, how many books or articles we wrote, or which conferences we attended.

Live and work selfishly or selflessly 

People die while living and working selfishly. At your funeral, will colleagues and social media friends attend it to stretch the truth in order to make you look good, or to sound as if you’re not that mean, after all? Nobody would dare say an unkind word at that last gathering; there is an obligation or pressure to come up with something positive to say about the person who died. But we secretly think the same thing: He or she really wasn’t that great of a person or boss or politician.

Plan your eternal destiny now

Unless we realize that we’d be the next person in our family or company to die, we wouldn’t see why we needed to treat our colleagues well. We’ve to believe it enough that it changes how to live. To say NO to office politicking and scheming, to start treating our colleagues whom we don’t like decently and fairly, to accept others in spite of their idiosyncrasies, to recognize that we’re not as smart as we think we’re, or that we’re not above-average as we want others to see us. 

Think of your obituary and eulogy

Unless we’ve a holy fear of God who holds the key to life and death, we’ll foolishly live our professional or working lives as if we can earn our eternity by merely living decently; yet our hearts and minds are far from Him. We try to do or act good to get His attention, but the condition of our hearts remains deceitful and evil. May the Holy Spirit reveal the sinfulness of our minds and hearts!

Some earthly thoughts on the heavenlies and Hades

Let me close with some life-and-death thoughts, dressed in some quasi-numerical language.

 

Life is a canvas of if’s.

You are what or how you count!

Life & Death

The probability of one’s living up to 444 years old is 0.

The probability of one’s dying is 1.

Life after death

The probability of going to he** is ½, where ** depends on how lean or mean you’ve been to your fellow mortals.

The probability of being reincarnated is 0.

The probability of being resurrected is 0.0000…1.

The probability of being cremated in crowded Singapore is 1/100,000.

Death after life

The probability of living for eternity [heaven or hell] is 1.

The probability of living in purgatory is zero – it’s a cardinal myth.

The probability of being in a Who’s Who in Hell list is exponentially higher than you think.

The probability of being in a Who’s Who in Heaven list is infinitesimally lower than you think.

Born twice, die once – eternal life

Born once, die twice – eternal death

  

The probability of dying twice [physical and spiritual deaths] is 1 × 1/x.

The probability of dying once [physical] is 1 × ½.

The probability of being  “born again” is about 1/15 – based on the number of residents-believers in Singapore.

It’s better to be born twice and die once than to be born once and die twice.

The chances of eternal life depend on your faith in His earthly death.

A lifespan of three scores and ten (70) lasts about a billion seconds.

Would you like to be blessed with a four-scores-and-ten lifespan? 

Then start honoring your parents. 

The probability of living up to 70 years old is 0.7.

The probability of living up to four scores and ten (90) is 0.1.

The probability of living up to five scores and ten (110) is 0.000,000,000,000,1.

On earth he was grounded to infinity

In heaven he was lifted up to eternity

Life is fair

Death is a great equalizer for rich and poor, smart and dumb, strong and weak, arrogant and humble, etc.

For partial proof

Dig six feet deep

Poor Fermat lied about his proof           

So the devil sent it to Prof. Wiles

You and faith = heaven

You and fate = hell

      

Dead Mathematicians: “Stop counting, we ‘re not getting up.”

In his prime, he worked on primes

In eternity, he rested in solitary

Life is the gross common differentiator (GCD) between rich and poor.

Death is the least common denominator (LCM) for all rich and poor.

           

A Christian dies twice but lives once.

An atheist dies once and lives once.

Live truthfully so that your pastor doesn’t have to lie about you at your funeral service.

Atheist: Heaven? No. Hell? Maybe, black hole?

Why are there only a low percent of mathematicians and math educators who go to heaven?

If they all went, it'd be hell!

Eternally yours

© Yan Kow Cheong, May 27, 2010